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There’s one key thing to remember when it comes to love: loving yourself has to come before anything else. Indeed, it may sound self-centered, but every single thing we do – including caring for others, loving others, giving selflessly and doing good in the world – comes from within us. Think of yourself as a natural spring of water – the more cared for, pure, strong and loved the spring is, the better quality its water will be. A spring left to crumble and fill with dirt is likely to produce poor quality water, or no water at all. There are lots of everyday ways we can show ourselves love and care, including abhyanga or ‘self massage’, a relaxing bath, restorative yoga session or delicious meal, but just as effective are those done on an energetic and subtle level. Yoga postures, mudras, meditations and breathing techniques have been practiced for thousands of years in order to change the state of body and mind, so if you want to start raising your levels of love, try adding the following methods to your yoga practice:
Affirmation: I let love in, I give love out
Postures:
Practice asanas that open the heart space and encourage a combination of trust, courage and softness. Low lunges with hands behind back help open the chest, shoulders and collarbones, whilst practicing balancing postures like Warrior 3 with the eyes closed can inspire the ability to trust ourselves deeply. Connect to powerful feminine energy with Goddess pose and Kali mudra, and stimulate the area of the heart with Dhanuarasna and Ustrasana (Bow and Camel postures). Learn to soften and let go with Child’s pose, and practice simply lying with your back propped up on a bolster or cushion, chest open and arms out wide. Opening the chest like this and choosing to let go is a powerful way to practice releasing barriers and blocks we sometimes place in front of the heart.
Mudra:
Padma mudra (known as ‘lotus mudra’ in English) is a necessary reminder of personal growth and the constant journey we’re all on in moving from the dark and muddy waters of illusion (doubt, negative self-talk, body insecurity) to the light of truth (the realisation that we’re so much more than our physical appearance, job title, social status etc). Lotus mudra can help encourage compassion towards oneself, therefore enabling compassion for others.
Mantra:
Anahata chakra is the place within us that holds the energy of love – the ability to receive it, feel it, give it and be it. Translated loosely as ‘unstruck’, the word Anahata relates to a sense of that aspect within us that is untouched and unstruck by the outside world, unchanged and uninfluenced, and the place that holds our true self. The mantra for the heart chakra is Yam (pronounced ‘yum’). If you’re musical, try chanting in the key of F, as this is the tone linked most closely to the vibrational frequency of the heart chakra.
Pranayama:
The HeartMath institute in the USA is as non-profit organisation dedicated to enhancing people’s lives through an awareness of how powerful the energy of the heart is. They recommend practicing heart-focused breathing, a technique that involves directing energy towards the heart whilst breathing slowly and deeply. They advise; “As you breathe in, imagine you are doing so through your heart, and, as you breathe out, imagine it is through your heart. (In the beginning, placing your hand over your heart as you breathe can help you in directing your focus to your heart.)”
Meditation:
Metta Bhavna meditation is an ancient and effective Buddhist practice steeped in centuries of practice, and right now in a world that seems a little disconnected and depersonalised, seems incredibly timely. Practicing this meditation often can bring about a sense of being more connected and loving towards others, as well as recognising how important it is to feel love for ourselves too. To practice:
Bring your attention to the space of your heart, breathing slowly and deeply and acknowledging feelings of love and caring emanating from this space
Repeat to yourself:
- May I be well, healthy and strong.
- May I be happy.
- May I abide in peace.
Bring into your mind someone you like a lot and respect.
Send them these feelings of warmth and caring, as you wish them well:
- May you be well.
- May you be happy.
- May you abide in peace.
Bring to mind someone you barely know and feel neutral about. This may be someone you have seen in the street, who you see on the bus, or pass in the corridor at work.
Send them these feelings of warmth and caring, as you wish them well:
- May you be well.
- May you be happy.
- May you abide in peace.
Bring to mind someone you have recently been upset with or have argued with. Chose someone with whom you have been mildly irritated. It may have been a slow driver or someone at work, but not someone you feel has hurt you deeply.
Send them these feelings of warmth and caring, as you wish them well:
- May you be well.
- May you be happy.
- May you abide in peace.
If you wish, do this with someone who has hurt you in the past. It is important to remember that you’re not condoning or approving of what they have done. You are simply allowing yourself to let go of any pain or anger you hold within yourself, allowing yourself freedom from those feelings.
Send them these feelings of warmth and caring, as you wish them well:
- May you be well.
- May you be happy.
- May you abide in peace.
Send the loving-kindness gradually outward to everyone in the surrounding area, your town, your country, the world.
- May you all be well,
- May you all be happy,
- May you all abide in peace,
Finally, focus once again on yourself, so the feeling of loving-kindness fills your whole being; breathing in peacefully, breathing out peacefully; at peace with yourself and the world. Finish by becoming aware of your breathing and the room around you once again.
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