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Home»Blog»My Husband and I Do a Yoga Challenge Each Year. Here’s What Happens.
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My Husband and I Do a Yoga Challenge Each Year. Here’s What Happens.

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Not quite a week into January, I found myself unwilling to get off the couch one night. I was curled underneath a blanket and the last thing I wanted to do was unroll my yoga mat. Then my husband, Steve, said in a gentle voice as he grabbed our mats from the other room for our yoga challenge, “You’ll feel better afterward.” He was right. I always do.

Some people do Dry January. We do Yoga January. For the last three years, the two of us have resolved to complete a certain YouTube instructor’s 30-day yoga challenge. After years of my trying to convince Steve to join me whenever I practiced yoga online or at our climbing gym’s studio, he finally gave it a chance after experiencing chronic back pain. Yoga was the only thing that would ease his aches. Now he was the one coaxing me.

With him as my accountability partner, I peeled myself off the couch that night and fell into our usual cadence. But that wouldn’t last for long. Even though we always set the intention of continuing our practice beyond that first month, we never last more than a few days, maybe a week at most, into February. So at the end of each video, as I lay there in Savasana feeling at ease, I know that despite our best efforts, this sweet ritual probably won’t last.

How Our January Yoga Challenges Always Go

Beginning in January, usually around 8 p.m., one of us looks at the other. We don’t even have to say anything. We stop whatever we’re doing—reading or doing dishes or lying on the couch—to shove the ottoman out of the way, spread out our yoga mats, and hit play on the next YouTube video in the series.

Our living room is small, barely wide enough for two yoga mats, which means we often bump into each other. Sometimes we’ll hold hands in Mountain Pose or poke each other in a Warrior Pose. When we’re in a silly mood, we try to make each other laugh. (Tooting while in Downward Dog always seems to work.) The rest of the time, we move in sync through vinyasa or yin sequences. Our dog even joins us by curling up on the couch to keep my spot warm.

Once the calendar flips to February, though, something switches within us and we stop giving each other the look. Instead of queuing up yoga on YouTube, we’re sneaking in a run while it’s still light outside or going out to meet up with friends. We return to the mat sporadically with classes at our climbing gym to unwind our sore muscles. But it’s never at the same rate as in January.

Why New Year’s Challenges Don’t Last

We’ve always been strict about not missing a day of yoga in January, even when we’re tired, out late with friends, or just don’t feel like it. Although we’d like to be the sort of people who practice yoga yearround, it’s never happened. Maybe because we’ve been setting ourselves up for failure.

Research from Columbia University shows that while nearly half of Americans resolve to make some kind of change in the New Year, only about 25 percent remain committed after a month. And fewer than 10 percent accomplish their goals, according to the study.

Experts say we drop off early from resolutions because our expectations for ourselves are unrealistic, vague, and based on “all-or-nothing thinking.” Perfection leaves no room for error. That pressure contribute to a feeling of failure before even beginning. Rigidity and binary thinking lead to burnout.

Psychologists believe starting small, being flexible, and remaining kind to ourselves when we hit a roadblock can help us commit to changing our behavior. They also recommend grounding any goals in a genuine desire to do something rather than pressure to check off a box—like getting through a month of yoga just to say we did it.

How We Reframed Our Yoga Challenge

This year, both of us did loosen up, but mostly because of our schedules. Steve had a work trip in mid January, and then I had a work trip at the end of the month. Neither of us stuck to our goals while traveling. Nor did we make any effort to resume it for several days afterward.

One night before the end of January, I told Steve I wanted to somehow get back to our practice, even if it wasn’t as frequent as our month-long challenge. My neck was full of knots again, my mind was hurried, and I’d lost track of the last time I’d taken a deep breath. I asked him if he’d be up for doing yoga on Monday nights rather than every night of the week. “Let’s do it,” he agrees. “Once a week sounds very doable.”

So the next Monday, in our candlelit living room, we began again. We cleared the furniture, flicked on the TV, and sat on our mats beside one another. Throughout the course of the video, the tension in my spine loosened, the stress of the day melted into the floor, and my breathing steadied.

At the end of the video, as I lay there in Savasana feeling at ease, I knew I’d be coming back. Yoga helps. It always does.

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